On Fri, Jul 5, 2013 at 10:14 PM, Jon <jdisnard(a)gmail.com> wrote:
The first sentence alone has three negatives opinions about India.
The rest is just angry ranting.
It is not angry ranting. It is in the standard language of many
feminist perspectives.
This raises other questions that I will take up in a follow up mail.
Fedora project should focus on positive statements!
Here is how I would rewrite the first sentence:
"India is a large country where many people are illiterate, and have little
or no sex education."
I would recommend citing reputable new agencies or a peer-reviewed paper
with statistics backing up the so-called facts about literacy and sex
education.
These were discussed in wfs mailing list. But mentioning full
references to academic studies on the topics is not really
"reaching out".
Honestly the 2nd and 3rd sentence should be dropped, as they resemble
ranting angry opinion.
Here is the 2nd revision which was on the site two days:
\quote
We hear a number of reports in the media about crimes against women
and minorities on a daily basis. We cannot really remain silent about
these because they stand to affect our lives and safety.
The cause of such a situation can be related to illiteracy of large
sections of the populations, absence of sex education in any form in
the education system, a patriarchal system that curtails the rights of
women and minorities, inadequate and poorly trained law enforcement
forces and inadequate laws. Activists will say that the problem of
dealing with the decadent patriarchy is hard because it has merged
itself with cultural, religious and business practices at the cost of
basic human values. More recently, even the minimalist recommendations
of the Verma commission have not been fully accepted by the Government
resulting in the laws remaining sub-human in nature.
It is no wonder that the human rights abuses of women and LGBT people
is the norm. If you reflect on the issues involved, then you will
realize that the progress of the entire society is affected as a
consequence.
This poster competition is for highlighting various facets of the
problem and possible egalitarian solutions.
\unquote
Best
A. Mani
--
A. Mani
CU, ASL, AMS, CLC, CMS
http://www.logicamani.in