M. Duffy,

I think the structure of the statement is wrong and could be improved by changing it like this:

**Fedora creates an innovative open platform for users, community members and software developers to build solutions that lights up hardware, containers and clouds.**

One test of a good statement (like a good image) is you can redact parts of it and it still makes sense.  People build solutions that light up clouds, I'm sure that is an image you can work with.

-- Jeff Sandys

On Tue, Apr 18, 2017 at 5:47 AM, Máirín Duffy <duffy@fedoraproject.org> wrote:

On 04/17/2017 10:52 AM, Bill Nottingham wrote:
> Practical:
> "lights up" reads as very jargon-y to me.  Maybe "...  platform
> to power hardware, clouds, and containers that enables software..."
I also had an issue with "lights up" - sounds like jargon-y slang or
just awkward / silly (was the first thing that stood out to me.)

Agreed that some form of "enable" is a good swap-in for "lights up."

council-discuss mailing list -- council-discuss@lists.fedoraproject.org
To unsubscribe send an email to council-discuss-leave@lists.fedoraproject.org